THINGS YOU WILL ONLY ENCOUNTER WHILE TRAVELING WITH GREG PFLUG

Saturday, January 24, 2009

I love the south. Florida is great when it comes to state pride, however, Texas kicks ass.......
I found this write up while surfing the net today.


Subject: Texas after the election


THE COUNTRY of TEXAS

Please note that Texas is the only state with a legal right to secede
from the Union. (Reference the Texas-American Annexation
Treaty of 1848.)

We Texans love y'all, but we'll probably have to take action since Barack Obama won the election. We'll miss you too.

Here is what can happen:

1: Barack Hussein Obama becomes President of the United States, and
Texas immediately secedes from the Union.

2: George W. Bush will become the President of the
Republic of Texas. You might not think that he talks too pretty, but we
haven't had another terrorist attack, and the economy was fine
until the effects of the Democrats lowering the qualifications for
home loans came to roost.

So what does Texas have to do to survive as a Republic?

1. NASA is just south of Houston, Texas. We will control the space
industry.

2. We refine over 85% of the gasoline in the United States.

3. Defense Industry--we have over 65% of it. The term
"Don't mess with Texas," will take on a whole new meaning.

4. Oil - we can supply all the oil that the Republic of
Texas will need for the next 300 years. What will the other states
do? Gee, we don't know. Why not ask Obama?

5. Natural Gas - again we have all we need and it's too
bad about those Northern States. John Kerry and Al Gore will have
to figure out a way to keep them warm....

6. Computer Industry - we lead the nation in producing computer
chips and communications equipment -small companies like
Texas Instruments, Dell Computer, EDS, Raytheon, National
Semiconductor, Motorola, Intel, AMD, Atmel, Applied Materials, Ball
Miconductor, Dallas Semiconductor, Nortel, Alcatel, etc, etc. The list
goes on and on.

7. Medical Care - We have the research centers for cancer research,
the best burn centers and the top trauma units in the
world, as well as other large health centers. The Houston Medical center alone employees over 65,000 people.

8. We have enough colleges to keep us getting smarter: University of
Texas, Texas A&M, Texas Tech, Texas Christian, Rice,
SMU, University of Dallas, University of Houston, Baylor, UNT (University of North Texas), Texas Women's University, etc. Ivy grows better in the South anyway.

9. We have an intelligent and energetic work force, and it isn't
restricted by a bunch of unions. Here in Texas, it's
a Right to Work State and, therefore, it's every man and women for
themselves. We just go out and get the job done. And if we don't
like the way one company operates, we get a job somewhere else.

10. We have essential control of the paper, plastics, and insurance
industries, etc.

11. In case of a foreign invasion, we have the Texas
National Guard, the Texas Air National Guard, and several military bases.
We don't have an Army, but since everybody down here has at least
six rifles and a pile of ammo, we can raise an Army in 24 hours if we
need one. If the situation really gets bad, we can always call the
Department of Public Safety and ask them to send over the Texas
Rangers.

12. We are totally self-sufficient in beef, poultry, hogs, and
several types of grain, fruit and vegetables, and
let's not forget seafood from the Gulf. Also, everybody down here knows how to cook them so that they taste good. Don't need any food.

13. Three of the ten largest cities in the United States, and twenty-
three of the 100 largest cities in the United States, are
located in Texas. And Texas also has more land than California, New
York, New Jersey, Connecticut, Delaware, Hawaii, Massachusetts,
Maryland, Rhode Island and Vermont combined.

14. Trade: Three of the ten largest ports in the United States are
located in Texas.

15. We also manufacture cars down here, but we don't
need to. You see, nothing rusts in Texas, so our vehicles stay beautiful
and run well for decades.

This just names a few of the items that will keep the Republic of
Texas in good shape. There isn't a thing out there that we need and
don't have.

Now to the rest of the United States under President Obama:

Since you won't have the refineries to get gas for your
cars, only President Obama will be able to drive around in his big 9
mpg SUV. The rest of the United States will have to walk or ride
bikes.

You won't have any TV as the Space Center in Houston
will cut off satellite communications.

You won't have any natural gas to heat your homes, but
since Mr. Obama has predicted global warming, you will not need the
gas as long as you survive the 2000 years it will take to get enough
heat from Global Warming.

So, in other words, go screw yourselves. Oh, that's
right. You already have!

Signed, The People of Texas

P.S. This is not a threatening letter - just a note to give you
something to think about!

SLEEP WELL TONIGHT THE EYES OF TEXAS ARE UPON YOU!!

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

When are we all moving to Texas? They have great rivers too...
Scott

Greg Pflug said...

This Cracker only visits other states. Florida is my forever home.

Greg Pflug said...

When I was guiding in Alaska this year someone told me that Texans got pissed when Alaska became a state because Texas was now the SECOND largest state.
Alaskans told Texans to shut up or they would cut Alaska into two equal sized states then Texas would have to be the THIRD largest state.

Greg Pflug said...

From Kris French:
http://avalon.law.yale.edu/19th_century/texan05.asp

Jim R. (PA) :) said...

Dear Red States:



If you manage to steal this election too, we've decided we're leaving. We intend to form our own country, and we're taking the other Blue States with us. In case you aren't aware, that includes California, Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and all the Northeast.



We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially to the people of the new country of New California.



To sum up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states. We get stem cell research and the best beaches. We get the Statue of Liberty. You get Dollywood.

We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom.



We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss.



We get 85% of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get Alabama.

We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the red states pay their fair share.



Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22% lower than the Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single moms.



Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and anti-war, and we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at once. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They have kids they're apparently willing to send to their deaths for no purpose, and they don't care if you don't show pictures of their children's caskets coming home. We do wish you success in Iraq , and hope that the WMDs turn up, but we're not willing to spend our resources in Bush's Quagmire.



With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80% of the country's fresh water, more than 90% of the pineapple and lettuce, 92% of the nation's fresh fruit, 95% of America's quality wines, 90% of all cheese, 90% of the high tech industry, 95% of the corn and soybeans (thanks Iowa!), most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools plus Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.



With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88% of all obese Americans (and their projected health care costs), 92% of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100% of the tornadoes, 90% of the hurricanes, 99% of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100% of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia.



We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.



Additionally, 38% of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62% believe life is sacred unless we're discussing the war, the death penalty or gun laws, 44% say that evolution is only a theory, 53% feel that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and 61% of you crazy bastards believe you are people with higher morals than we lefties.



Peace out,

Blue States