Saturday, March 17, 2007

So nobody has been leaving me any comments! Well I guess its time to stir the pot a bit. Most of these were sent to me by my good friend Chuck. I won't mention his last name so he can still have at least a chance of getting lucky in the next year.

How many men does it take to open a beer?

None. It should be opened when she brings it
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?

Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?

When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..."
How do you fix a woman's watch?

You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
Why do men fart more than women?

Because women can't shut up long enough to
build up the required pressure .
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.

It's called a Wedding Cake.
Why do men die before their wives?

They want to.
----- --------------------------------------------------------------
Women will never be equal to men
until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.


Anonymous said...

An English professor wrote the words: "A woman without her man is nothing" on the chalkboard and asked his students to punctuate it correctly.

All of the males in the class wrote: "A woman, without her man, is nothing."

All the females in the class wrote: A woman: "without her, man is nothing."

Punctuation is everything.

Author Unknown

Anonymous said...

How can you tell Greg is lying? His lips are moving. Hi

Anonymous said...

What do you have when you've got 50 lesbians and 50 state workers?

100 people that don't do dick.

All the Best, Dude.
DK in Dallas

Anonymous said...


No woman ever shot a man while he was doing the dishes.